A confession; I haven't been creating as much as I had promised.
Which is fair, life gets the better of us and we cannot keep promises we cannot keep. Still, I put myself in a much higher expectation than is possible. To preform to an audience, even though the only eyes that are there are my own. I've been sick for a very long time, and yet I had tried to keep with a work ethic of someone at their peak health.
Its been sometime since I've created a finished piece of art, but its due to trying to set my own pace. I've stressed over deadlines too much from work alone, and to only make artwork to chase down acceptance letters is a race I personally no longer want to run in. I don't want to hate my creations because of the pressure to succeed.
Its been months since I graduated, and I've taken a step back to learn to love and my process. I've learned I hated cleaning paint brushes so I use my fingers instead, that little canvases are softer on the body than large, and that I really missed writing. I love my life, I love my job, and I'm relearning to love my art and myself with time.
June 2024